


5 Fingers, 4 Play, 3... Let's Go Straight 2 Number 1

by meiloslyther



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco, The Young Veins
Genre: Awkward Sex, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-17
Updated: 2010-07-17
Packaged: 2017-11-19 10:33:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/572331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meiloslyther/pseuds/meiloslyther
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Spencer is awkward and Ryan is even more awkward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Fingers, 4 Play, 3... Let's Go Straight 2 Number 1

**Author's Note:**

> "OMG, you should make a totally awkward first time fic. Without the cuteness. Just the pure awkward feeling. :D" - [](http://kyakat-13-666.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://kyakat-13-666.livejournal.com/)**kyakat_13_666**. Hope I did it justice.

Spencer Smith was Ryan's security blanket and had been ever since they met as children nearly thirteen years ago. Spencer was always the one he turned to when he needed to talk or a shoulder to cry on. Around Spencer, Ryan felt safe, calm, reassured.

Maybe that's why Ryan decided to kiss Spencer in the first place.

"Ryan, what are you doing?"

Ryan moved away quickly, looking away. "Sorry, I just, um... I don't know."

Spencer dropped it at that and turned back to the TV, the silence falling thick between them. Now Ryan was nervous, afraid of what Spencer would think of him now, and that vibe felt all wrong when he was sitting so close to his best friend.

Ryan was about to say something along the lines of, "Let's just forget about it," when he suddenly found Spencer's mouth on his. Spencer wasn't pushing, the press of his lips light and gentle, a question.

"Is this okay?" Ryan whispered when Spencer pulled back a little, still hovering close enough to feel his hot breath on his cheek. He could feel Spencer's heart pounding just as fast as his own through his thin t-shirt and that made him feel slightly less nervous. There was no stopping the mass of butterflies in his stomach, however.

Spencer nodded hesitantly and Ryan slowly, carefully closed the distance between them once again, pushing ever so slightly. Raising a tentative hand, Ryan cupped Spencer's cheek and sighed in relief. Spencer sighed in return, slipping a hand around the back of Ryan's neck and pulling him in further, cautiously licking Ryan's bottom lip.

Ryan gasped and pulled away a little, caught off guard.

"God, Ry, I'm... I'm sorry. Um, I didn't mean to...," Spencer stuttered, pulling his hand away.

"No, no, it's fine," Ryan breathed, grabbing Spencer's hand and putting it back on his neck. "You just, um... surprised me, is all."

Spencer nodded, licking his bottom lip nervously. "Can we, um... lay down?"

"Sure," Ryan answered in almost a whisper, and both boys moved to lie on the couch, nose to nose and toe to toe.

They looked at each other for a moment before they burst into nervous laughter, blushing wildly. When they were quiet once more, Ryan brought his hand up to Spencer's cheek again, leaning in to initiate the open mouthed kiss Spencer had been trying for earlier.

Spencer had just gotten his fingers into the slowly lengthening hair at the back of Ryan's head when Ryan's cell phone buzzed, and the two pulled apart reluctantly.

"It's my dad," Ryan announced in his normal monotone, despite the waver he could feel in it. He looked back up into Spencer's eyes, those pretty blue eyes that you could get lost in. "I have to go."

Spencer nodded and Ryan thought about giving him one last kiss before he left, a goodbye kiss, but he hesitated too long and decided to just roll off the couch instead. He grabbed his jacket from the back of the recliner and disappeared out the door.

***

Band practice was hell the next night. For some ungodly reason, there was this gigantic awkward elephant standing in the middle of the room between Ryan and Spencer, and even Brent, Mister Oblivious, could see it.

"Dude, what's up with you two? Are you guys fighting or something?"

"No," the other two answered at once, glancing at each other briefly. Spencer blushed.

"Well, whatever this is, you guys better be over it by Saturday. I told Brendon to show up to practice then. Don't want you guys to scare him off with your... awkward." Brent flapped his hands, trying to illustrate his point.

"We're not awkward."

"So Brendon said he'll show up?" Ryan questioned, changing the subject.

"Yeah, kid's got his own guitar and everything. I'm telling you guys, you'll love him," Brent assured them, attempting to tune his bass. He was doing it wrong, but Ryan wasn't about to tell him off. "I mean, I've never heard him play anything outside of what we do in guitar class, but he's still pretty good."

Spencer played a short drumroll and struck the high hat before grabbing it. "Didn't you say something about him being super hyper?" he asked, trying to keep Brent talking.

Brent had finally given up on trying to tune his bass by himself and grabbed the tuner from the couch. "Oh, yeah. That." He laughed a little, finally turning the pegs in the correct direction. "Yeah, he's, ah... very ADD."

Ryan sighed, knowing he was in for one hell of a ride with this kid. He strummed a few chords on his guitar and glanced at Spencer, who was purposely not looking at him. "Finish tuning that and we'll play that song you like so much," Ryan told Brent, letting his eyes fall on Spencer again.

As expected, Spencer groaned. "Oh fuck, not that one."

Ryan grinned at his best friend, and Spencer sent him back a playful glare. They laughed easily.

***

After a while, Ryan forgot about the incident with Spencer. Well, maybe he didn't forget exactly, he just chose not to remember. And, since Spencer never brought it back up, he was fine with that.

However, the world has a way of fucking things up, and it just so happened to be Brendon who started it.

"So, are you and Spencer...?"

Ryan raised an eyebrow at his new lead singer. "Are Spencer and I what?" Ryan thought Brendon was a great kid once you got to know him, but there were times that his upbringing got in the way of things. Especially when it came to talking about controversial subjects.

Brendon glanced over at Spencer and Brent across the room, conversing jovially. "Are you two...? You know."

"Are you asking me if Spencer and I are together, Brendon?"

Brendon blushed and lowered his eyes, nodding slightly.

Ryan snorted. "Of course not."

"Are you sure?"

Ryan glanced over at Spencer laughing with Brent and couldn't stop the rush of emotion for his best friend.

"Because you two are really... close."

 

_"Is this okay?"_

_"Can we, um... lay down?"_

_"Sure."_

_"It's my dad. I have to go."_

 

Ryan turned back to Brendon. "We're not together. We're just really good friends."

Brendon nodded but didn't look completely convinced. "Okay."

Ryan couldn't really convince himself either.

***

That night, Brendon and Brent passed out on the floor in Spencer's room while Ryan and Spencer took the bed. Brendon was sprawled out on his stomach, Brent was curled up in a ball on his side, and Ryan was staring at Spencer's back as his friend slept next to him.

Reaching out a hand, Ryan traced the bumps in Spencer's spine through his t-shirt, trying to imagine how Spencer's skin would feel under his fingertips.

"Ryan, what are you doing?"

Ryan paused, his hand still on Spencer's back. "I wanted to touch you," Ryan whispered back, letting his hand wander further down to Spencer's lower back.

Spencer rolled over and grabbed Ryan's hand, glaring at him. "Don't fuck with me, Ross."

"I'm not."

"You can't just tease me every couple of months and then forget it ever happened, Ryan. I can't deal with that."

Ryan retracted his hand, avoiding Spencer's eyes. "I didn't think you... I didn't know... I thought you didn't want... this."

"You're the one who left and never talked about it again."

"Neither did you."

Spencer tipped Ryan's chin up like he was about to say something, but he pressed his lips to Ryan's instead, easily prying Ryan's mouth open with his tongue. Ryan brought his hand up to cup Spencer's jaw, unable to stop the relieved smile that turned up the corners of his lips.

"So, um...," Spencer began, pulling away and trying not to blush, failing miserably. " _Do_ you wanna talk about it?"

"Uh..." Ryan didn't really know what he was supposed to say. Saying yes would make the kissing stop, but saying no would make him sound flaky. He was kind of at a loss, so he opted for the middle road. "Maybe?"

"Oh..." Spencer's face fell. "So you don't...?"

"What?" Ryan was so lost. "No, I do," he added quickly.

"Really?" A glimmer of hope brightened Spencer's pretty blue eyes, and how could Ryan say no to those eyes?

"Yeah, really-"

Almost before the words were out of his mouth, Spencer surged forward and kissed Ryan fiercely, catching him by surprise. Ryan kissed back, confused but glad that the kissing was happening again, but then Spencer bit his lip - hard.

"Ow, ow, shit," Ryan muttered, pulling away and gingerly touching his lip.

"Oh, god... Ryan, I'm sorry, um... you're kind of bleeding..."

Ryan pulled his hand away from his mouth to find that he was, in fact, bleeding. "Yeah, yeah, that happens." He attempted to stop the bleeding, but he wasn't really having much success.

"Do you want to just-?"

"No, no, it's fine," Ryan interrupted, licking the wound subconsciously. "Just... no more biting, okay?"

Spencer nodded but didn't move otherwise, forcing Ryan to initiate another kiss, softer this time, almost perfect. Snaking a hand around Ryan's waist, Spencer pulled him closer so that their stomachs were touching, and consequently, their half-hard cocks.

Both boys froze, neither of them daring to move even an inch.

"Should we be doing this?" Spencer breathed, suddenly nervous.

"We can stop, if you want."

They hesitated for a second before Ryan grabbed Spencer's face, kissing him hard, and Spencer rolled Ryan onto his back, landing on top of him with his hips settled between Ryan's thighs. Ryan let out a soft noise through his nose, unable to stop his hips from rolling up against Spencer's, desperately seeking the friction he needed.

"God, Ryan, this is-"

"Yeah."

Ryan reached down to tug on the hem of Spencer's shirt, pulling it off of him and pressing him close, pushing back against Spencer's uncertain movements. Whimpering a little, Spencer moved to suck on Ryan's neck, making him groan.

"Whoa, what the fuck?"

Ryan and Spencer darted to separate edges of the bed, Spencer grabbing his shirt and hiding his face under it.

"Hey, are you guys awake? You got bugs and shit in here, Spence," Brendon complained, popping his head up above the bed. "Uhh, are you okay, Spencer?"

"'M fine," Spencer muttered, not daring to move.

Ryan choked off a laugh.

Brendon apparently didn't notice. "Why'd you take your shirt off?" he asked then, rubbing one eye tiredly.

God, Brendon was nosy.

"Got hot, couldn't sleep," Spencer answered shortly, willing Brendon to lay back down and go to sleep.

"Oh. Well hey, you've got bugs in here, man. Can I sleep up there with you guys?"

"Brendon, there's not enough room," Ryan grumbled, trying to sound sleepy, but Brendon was already getting comfortable in the middle of the bed.

"Thanks," Brendon snuffled into Ryan's pillow, pulling the covers up over himself and passing out again.

Ryan shot an exasperated look at Spencer over Brendon's head. Spencer rolled his eyes in response, and both of them lay back to settle into an uneasy sleep.

***

"Ryan, you have to come spend the night," Spencer told Ryan over the phone several silent days later.

Ryan didn't even think about his answer. "Sure, be there in an hour."

Spencer all but waited for Ryan at the front door, hauling him inside once he did arrive. He dragged Ryan down the hall to his room and shut the door behind them, pressing his friend up against the back of the door.

"Spence, what's going-?"

Spencer interrupted him with an intense kiss, gripping the front of his shirt in his impassioned state. Bringing his hands up to Spencer's shoulders, Ryan let the kiss go on until he had to breathe, gently pushing Spencer away.

"...On. Damn," Ryan breathed, blinking up at Spencer.

"I want you so bad, Ry," Spencer panted, looking into Ryan's eyes intently. "God, you have no idea."

Ryan swallowed, unsure of what to say to that. He knew he had started this, that much was clear, but he had no idea how this had gotten so far ahead of him. "Uhm," was all Ryan could think of to say, the extent of his knowledge of the English language completely failing him in that moment.

"Please don't go all homophobic on me now, Ryan," Spencer begged, wavering between stepping away and pressing closer. He needed this three months ago.

It wasn't that Ryan was going homophobic, it was more like he didn't know what he was getting himself into. "I'm not, I'm just..." He took a deep breath and moved a hand down to cover Spencer's thudding heart, biting the side of his bottom lip.

"Right." Spencer stood there for a moment, still stuck in limbo. "Can we...?" he finally asked, going for the hem of Ryan's shirt.

"Okay," Ryan whispered, letting Spencer tug his shirt over his head and drop it to the floor before pulling off his own. "What are we...?"

"I don't know."

At least Ryan wasn't the only one.

Gripping the back of Spencer's neck, Ryan pulled him in for a tentative kiss, his other hand curling around Spencer's hip. Spencer finally moved then, snaking his hands around to Ryan's ass and pulling him close, grinding their crotches together. Sighing through his nose, Ryan walked Spencer backwards towards the bed, letting his hands wander down to the button on Spencer's jeans.

Catching on quickly, Spencer undid his pants and stepped out of them, helping Ryan with his own before crawling into the bed and pulling Ryan down on top of him. Rolling his hips up, Spencer tugged Ryan in for another kiss, groaning into it as Ryan moved against him. Spencer eventually broke the kiss to trail down Ryan's jaw to his neck, sucking on the soft skin just below his ear.

"Spencer, god," Ryan breathed, beginning to claw at Spencer's boxers.

Spencer just sucked on Ryan's neck harder, lifting his hips to help Ryan tug his boxers off. Ryan struggled out of his own and exhaled sharply as their bare cocks rubbed together. Spencer groaned wantonly against Ryan's neck at the contact, digging his nails into Ryan's hip.

"Ryan, Ryan... I want...," Spencer panted as Ryan moved his hips in slow, dirty circles, letting his hands wander all over Spencer's smooth, milky skin.

"Tell me."

"I want... I want... you."

Ryan stopped and looked down at Spencer's face. "You already have me," Ryan told him uncertainly, a little confused.

"No, no." Spencer shook his head, swallowing, not meeting Ryan's eyes. "I mean..."

"...Oh. _Oh_."

Spencer risked a glance at Ryan, but he was already looking away, biting his lip nervously. "Ry, we don't-"

"Are you sure? That you want to... I mean." Ryan finally met Spencer's eyes, a look with equal amounts of fright and lust passing between them.

Spencer nodded, forcing himself to maintain eye contact.

Ryan closed his eyes, a wave of nerves passing over him. "Do you have any...?"

"Yeah," Spencer answered, reaching over for his nightstand and digging in the top drawer. He drew his hand back and pressed a small bottle of lube into Ryan's hand - a legit bottle of lube - and if Ryan wasn't so nervous, he probably would have asked him why he had it, where he got it.

"What about...?"

Spencer shook his head. "We're both clean... right?"

God knew they were both practically virgins. There _was_ that one girl, but Ryan didn't like to talk about that, mostly because it never actually happened. "...Right. So..." He opened the cap on the bottle and coated his fingers liberally, moving backwards so that he was between Spencer's legs. "Tell me if I..."

"Okay."

Swallowing, Ryan took a deep breath and let it out as he circled a finger around Spencer's hole, testing Spencer's reaction before pushing it in. Spencer immediately tensed up but didn't looked pained; he looked more like he was deciding how it felt, a confused crease between his eyebrows.

"How does it... feel?" Ryan wondered aloud, wondering what to do next.

Spencer raised an eyebrow at him, and Ryan would have laughed under different circumstances. "Why don't you stick a finger up _your_ ass and tell me?"

Ryan had enough grace to look taken aback. "...Point taken."

"Just..." Spencer shifted, pushing back on Ryan's finger.

Taking the hint, Ryan began to slowly move his finger in and out, wiggling it around experimentally. Spencer squirmed impatiently after a moment, and Ryan pressed another finger inside, earning a pained gasp from Spencer.

"Okay?"

Spencer nodded stiffly. "Burns."

"Sorry." Ryan moved his fingers, hoping that would help.

Spencer didn't stop frowning. "Why don't you-" He stopped suddenly, frozen as he was about to reach for Ryan's arm.

Ryan stopped and looked up. "Spence?"

Spencer's mouth was open slightly, his eyes glazed over and his cheeks rosy. "D-do-" He took a steadying breath, settling back on the bed. "Do that again."

Blinking a little, Ryan repeated the motion he had done right before Spencer froze, this time getting a gasp that almost turned into a whine. Amazed, Ryan did it again, a little harder, and Spencer full on moaned, digging his fingers into the sheets.

"Wow," Ryan breathed, slipping a third finger in. Spencer was so relaxed at that point that there wasn't much resistance, and Ryan could spread his fingers slightly inside.

"Ryan, come on, stop dicking around," Spencer hissed, but he was bucking against Ryan's hand greedily.

Ryan pulled his fingers out with a wet squelch and made a face, wiping his fingers off on the side of Spencer's bed.

"Gross, dude," Spencer commented, rolling his eyes.

"You'll probably have to wash your sheets after this anyway."

Sighing, Spencer sat up and grabbed the bottle of lube, impatiently slicking Ryan's dick. Ryan made a choked noise, trying to control himself.

"Now get over here," Spencer growled as he lay back down, pulling his knees up and spreading his legs farther.

Ryan swallowed the lump in his throat and shuffled forward, pressing his cock against Spencer's tight hole. Taking a shaky breath, he guided himself in, his eyes snapping up to Spencer's face when he whimpered.

"Does it...?" Ryan paused, worried about hurting his best friend - more than best friend? - and a little worried about coming too fast.

Spencer grabbed at Ryan's hips, pulling him further in. "Don't fucking stop, fuck."

Ryan obeyed, sinking in all the way and letting Spencer hold him in place. Spencer's muscles were spasming a little, no doubt trying to adjust to Ryan being inside, and it was all Ryan could do to keep from coming right there, wrapped tight in Spencer's arms.

"Does this feel okay to you?" Ryan whispered, his face pressed to Spencer's neck.

Spencer's breathing was a little labored, but he managed a gasped, "More than okay, dickface."

Ryan tried not to laugh but was totally failing. "No, I mean..."

Spencer pulled Ryan's head back to look at him properly. Spencer's normally blue eyes were almost black with lust, his face flushed slightly. "Shut up and kiss me."

Ryan surged forward gratefully, kissing Spencer hard to distract himself. Honestly, he was not going to last long like this.

Spencer finally let go of Ryan's hips and dragged his hands up Ryan's back. "You... you can move now," he breathed, blushing a little.

Ryan nodded, rocking back slowly before pushing in again, making what was probably the most embarrassing noise on the planet, but Spencer was looking at him like he was the only person _left_ on the planet and that. That kind of blew Ryan's mind. Finding some kind of rhythm, Ryan couldn't stop himself from kissing Spencer again and making him practically mewl with pleasure.

"Fuck, Ry, faster," Spencer panted after a while, squirming under Ryan's insubstantial weight.

Ryan's face was hot, but he couldn't tell if he was just worked up or actually blushing. "I don't think I'm gonna..."

"Me either, just... go."

Taking a deep breath, Ryan gripped Spencer's thigh and shifted a little, getting better leverage against the bed. He sped up his pace until skin slapped skin with loud snaps and Spencer was keening desperately, Ryan muffling his own moans into Spencer's sweaty neck. It didn't take long for Spencer to arch his back and come hot and wet between their stomachs, Ryan's name finding its place in a moan. With Spencer moaning so deliciously, his nails embedded in Ryan's back and his muscles clamping down hard on Ryan's cock, it didn't take Ryan long to follow him with a shameless groan.

"Oh, oh god, Spence," Ryan panted shakily as his hips twitched, squeezing Spencer's thigh.

Spencer was holding him tight, his fingers tangled in Ryan's almost jaw length hair. "Yeah."

Ryan moved after a moment to pull out, almost regretting it when Spencer whimpered at the loss, and he quickly cleaned off their stomachs before cuddling up close to Spencer.

"It's like I can still feel you inside," Spencer whispered into Ryan's hair after a few quiet moments, and Ryan didn't have to look to know he was blushing.

"Next time... can I...? Would you...?"

Spencer hugged Ryan closer. "Yes." Ryan let his eyes close as he smiled. "God, yes."


End file.
